Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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