Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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