and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
