it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
