"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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