the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Drunk is a universal language darling
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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