What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
