Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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