she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think i have two assholes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
