The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
