we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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