Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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