Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
