Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
