Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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