Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
