So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
