I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
this will be a night to untag.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
