Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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