Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
