Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
