we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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