that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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