I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
