i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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