Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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