can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
