Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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