I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
