i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
