ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize