I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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