I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
