If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize