So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
