Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
