I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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