I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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