I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
