Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
