Quick, to the slutcave!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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