so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
