Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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