I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
