she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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