So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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