You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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