He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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