Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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