Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
