This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
