it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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