hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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