Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
