bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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