Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
