The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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