he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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