Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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