When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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