Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize