Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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