i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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