Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
