he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
