Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And then my night got REAL pukey
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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