Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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