i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
