If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
