Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
