We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
