I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I met the friendliest cop last night
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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