Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
