Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
