So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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