I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
