you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
