I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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